Monday, December 28, 2009

As Time Passes

As another Christmas passes and a New Year just around the corner I must admit my heart gets sad because another holiday without my nephew QT home... then I stop & think about the Gaona family another holiday without their son, grandson, brother etc...Today I spoke with Mr. Biggs QT's Federal Attorney no new news he continues to read through the tons of court documents.
So many times I wonder if the Gaona family knows how much my heart hurts for their loss, do they know the many times I pray for them, for God to give them courage in the mist of their lonliness, I pray God grant them strength in the mist of their pain. I wonder if they even have any idea of the many,many times I have driven by or parked my car across the street at the JC Zaragosa Rec Center and watch and pray as I am doing today listening to QT's song 'Prayer' by Petra the words in the song are embedded in my mind & heart forever! "Keep the one's I love so dearly, fill their emptiness while I am gone and fill the lonliness in me" . As the clock continues to tick and time continues to pass us by I pray for two families who have lost their son's but whose lives will forever be intwined.

For His Glory,
Joey

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I Never Seen It More Clearer...

I never seen it more clearer then when I watched the tape for the first time.. The party, the laughter. The few seconds QT is seen passing before the camera's lenses.. The Panoramic view of a moment in life that would go on to be frozen in time by the camera man.. Then the film ended.. or did it? I had actually went to the kitchen once the recording ended while Joanne stayed watching the black and white fuzz began playing on the TV, the end of the movie.. but then I heard people talking from the kitchen, at that moment my view of that night changes forever.. my idea of Santos Gaona whom I had never met changed, and shifted as I got a first hand, a glimpse into who Santos was..
As the video played on, it cuts to a scene that had been previously recorded on the video tape. The party that changed so many people's lives had a prior recording. It goes to Senior Day at Molina High and this time Santos was the camera man. He teased friends, laughed, jokes around, yelled, harrassed teachers but ONE thing was for certain... He was liked, even loved by many, almost everyone who looked into the camera smiled brightly and in their face, you could see they were proud to be graced by his presence. At one point him in front of the camera, a girl cried when asked about her plans after graduation and he said "leave her alone" and to the girl "its okay, dont be scared, were gonna make it"...he cared enough to say that. Even though our everyday futures are uncertain, he had the courage to say that "we're gonna make it".. and some of us will.. but I had never seen my own life as a reflection in any moment as when the camera man focused on Santos and asked him "what are you gonna do after graduation"? Santos replied, "I dont know, I've got my whole life ahead of me"!
If he had only known his whole life would be almost a month long, because less than 30 days later he would be going to be with the Father. If we only knew our own date to leave our friends, family, husbands,wives, children, parents.. how would we live? Would it affect our decisions? Instead of imposing prisons upon ourselves, would the walls crumble down, would we love freely, cherish our moments? If he had only known... but he didn't know his moment.. yet he found a way to love freely, to cherish his moments, share his friendships. People glowed when they saw him.
As we also do not know our moment, do not know if tomorrow will ever come for us, we should learn to love one another, be better friends and humans, and view Santos life, not as a tragic loss of a promising future, but as a reminder... Our future isn't promised; but the moments we lived will carry on forever in someone's memory. Make it a great one. Santos did!

Joanne & RJ